How to disagree with your boss
And my quest to make a course that's ForestCore / CottageCore / KidCore
Welcome to Q4 Autumn! 🍁 🍂
One of the pleasures of running my own business is that I get to shape my work around Earth’s rhythms — cycles that align with nature, my body, and my energetic cycles. I’m decolonizing my brain to think in terms of natural seasons as opposed to fiscal quarters, and it feels great. Take that, capitalism!
Reminder: I’m creating a course called Advancing Your Design Career
🍕 Register your interest 🍕 to get an email when enrollment opens later this Fall.
You’ll learn:
How to eliminate micromanaging and gain autonomy.
How leaders track & measure your performance.
How to become known as a top performer.
How to optimize your chances for promotions and pay increases.
How to do this mindfully, without burning out.
The techniques that I’ll teach are actually easy to learn and put into practice. And we’ll make it silly, fun, and memorable. I promise. Get on the waitlist and you’ll receive an email when registration opens.
How to disagree with your boss
Recently, I’ve had a handful of coaching conversations where I’ve said to clients:
Do NOT develop an antagonistic relationship with your boss.
Even if you dislike your boss. Even if they’re a bad leader.
Maybe that’s obvious to some of you. But this wasn’t obvious to me early in my career.
I would argue with my boss, resent them, and make snarky comments. 😬 I did this because I thought I was “correct.” Maybe I even had a superiority complex and/or a general disdain for authority. 😬 😬 😬 I mean, the skateboarder in me still has a general disdain for authority…
Anyway! It’s pretty embarrassing when I think about it now. It’s especially embarrassing that I was also wondering why I wasn’t getting promoted. 🤦🏻♀️ Remember:
Your boss is the one who advocates for your promotions and pay increases.
Another way to think about it:
Your boss has more impact on your career progression than anyone else at your workplace. That means you need to develop a trusted partnership with them.
There are a lot of techniques around how you can form that trusted partnership — even if you dislike them. Even if they’re green or incompetent. Even if they’re just too busy to invest in you. One trick is to learn how to disagree in a healthy way.
Here’s a script for disagreeing with your boss
Here’s how to respectfully disagree, without damaging your reputation with your boss:
Your boss: Here’s my point of view, [says something you disagree with].
You: I see. Let me make sure I understand what you’re saying. [restate what they’ve said]. Do I have that right?
(This shows them that you’re listening. It also gives them a chance to clarify if you’ve misunderstood them.)
Your boss: Yes, that’s right.
You: Oh, ok. That’s really interesting! I think about it a little bit differently, the way I think about it is [state your point of view].
You are in essence disagreeing with them. But you’re being kind and respectful. And in the process, you’re ensuring that they feel heard as well. You’re not being antagonistic. No snark, no sarcasm.
When you present a different opinion the right way, your boss is more likely to hear you. If you’re being aggressive or antagonistic — remember they’re human too — they won’t be as receptive.
💡 What do you think of this tip? If you try it, let me know how it goes!
BTS: Creating the Course
Aligning my course with my capacity
I’m a single parent to a young kiddo. We inevitably go through rounds sickness during the school year, which makes my schedule unpredictable.
Initially as I built my course, I planned to deliver each lesson live. But I realized, that approach just isn’t aligned with my capacity, and the shape of my life at this stage.
So I’ve adapted my approach. My plan is to pre-record lessons, and then host a handful of Live Q&A sessions with students.
I think this will work better for many folks who already have Zoom / meeting fatigue. I’ve heard from folks that they like to learn asynchronously, and in smaller, bite-sized chunks. So I’m adapting the course structure based on that feedback.
Aligning my course with my values
I’ve also been reflecting on the various corporate trainings that I’ve been to over the years. Sometimes the content is helpful, sometimes it’s not. But pretty consistently, the format itself is SO BORING that I can barely stay awake. Either that or the vibe is just… off?? Like, very 90’s Dilbert vibes? Super corporate.
I’ve spent time thinking about the values and vibes I do and don’t want to cultivate with this course:
No, thanks:
Orientation: White supremacist capitalist patriarchy
Beliefs: Hustle culture, scarcity mindset
Vibe: Stale / boring AF
Yes, please:
Orientation: Radical feminist anti-capitalist, acknowledges power imbalances and systems of oppression
Beliefs: Work/life balance, abundance mindset
Vibe: Cottage core / cozy gaming
Like, what if you could attend an incredibly valuable career course, but this was the vibe:
That’s the goal. Look at how friggin’ cute Henry is, chilling on that bench! 🥹
Ok, later skaters! ✌️
Sally
Reminder: I’m creating a course called Advancing Your Design Career
🍕 Register your interest 🍕 to get an email when enrollment opens later this Fall.
You’ll learn:
How to eliminate micromanaging and gain autonomy.
How leaders track & measure your performance.
How to become known as a top performer.
How to optimize your chances for promotions and pay increases.
How to do this mindfully, without burning out.
The techniques that I’ll teach are actually easy to learn and put into practice. And we’ll make it silly, fun, and memorable. I promise. Get on the waitlist and you’ll receive an email when registration opens.
How to disagree with your boss
Recently, I’ve had a handful of coaching conversations where I’ve said to clients:
Do NOT develop an antagonistic relationship with your boss.
Even if you dislike your boss. Even if they’re a bad leader.
Maybe that’s obvious to some of you. But this wasn’t obvious to me early in my career.
I would argue with my boss, resent them, and make snarky comments. 😬 I did this because I thought I was “correct.” Maybe I even had a superiority complex and/or a general disdain for authority. 😬 😬 😬 I mean, the skateboarder in me still has a general disdain for authority…
Anyway! It’s pretty embarrassing when I think about it now. It’s especially embarrassing that I was also wondering why I wasn’t getting promoted. 🤦🏻♀️ Remember:
Your boss is the one who advocates for your promotions and pay increases.
Another way to think about it:
Your boss has more impact on your career progression than anyone else at your workplace. That means you need to develop a trusted partnership with them.
There are a lot of techniques around how you can form that trusted partnership — even if you dislike them. Even if they’re green or incompetent. Even if they’re just too busy to invest in you. One trick is to learn how to disagree in a healthy way.
Here’s a script for disagreeing with your boss
Here’s how to respectfully disagree, without damaging your reputation with your boss:
Your boss: Here’s my point of view, [says something you disagree with].
You: I see. Let me make sure I understand what you’re saying. [restate what they’ve said]. Do I have that right?
(This shows them that you’re listening. It also gives them a chance to clarify if you’ve misunderstood them.)
Your boss: Yes, that’s right.
You: Oh, ok. That’s really interesting! I think about it a little bit differently, the way I think about it is [state your point of view].
You are in essence disagreeing with them. But you’re being kind and respectful. And in the process, you’re ensuring that they feel heard as well. You’re not being antagonistic. No snark, no sarcasm.
When you present a different opinion the right way, your boss is more likely to hear you. If you’re being aggressive or antagonistic — remember they’re human too — they won’t be as receptive.
💡 What do you think of this tip? If you try it, let me know how it goes!
BTS: Creating the Course
Aligning my course with my capacity
I’m a single parent to a young kiddo. We inevitably go through rounds sickness during the school year, which makes my schedule unpredictable.
Initially as I built my course, I planned to deliver each lesson live. But I realized, that approach just isn’t aligned with my capacity, and the shape of my life at this stage.
So I’ve adapted my approach. My plan is to pre-record lessons, and then host a handful of Live Q&A sessions with students.
I think this will work better for many folks who already have Zoom / meeting fatigue. I’ve heard from folks that they like to learn asynchronously, and in smaller, bite-sized chunks. So I’m adapting the course structure based on that feedback.
Aligning my course with my values
I’ve also been reflecting on the various corporate trainings that I’ve been to over the years. Sometimes the content is helpful, sometimes it’s not. But pretty consistently, the format itself is SO BORING that I can barely stay awake. Either that or the vibe is just… off?? Like, very 90’s Dilbert vibes? Super corporate.
I’ve spent time thinking about the values and vibes I do and don’t want to cultivate with this course:
No, thanks:
Orientation: White supremacist capitalist patriarchy
Beliefs: Hustle culture, scarcity mindset
Vibe: Stale / boring AF
Yes, please:
Orientation: Radical feminist anti-capitalist, acknowledges power imbalances and systems of oppression
Beliefs: Work/life balance, abundance mindset
Vibe: Cottage core / cozy gaming
Like, what if you could attend an incredibly valuable career course, but this was the vibe:
That’s the goal. Look at how friggin’ cute Henry is, chilling on that bench! 🥹
Ok, later skaters! ✌️
Sally
