How to disagree with your boss
And my quest to make a course that's ForestCore / CottageCore / KidCore
Welcome to Q4 Autumn! đ đ
One of the pleasures of running my own business is that I get to shape my work around Earthâs rhythms â cycles that align with nature, my body, and my energetic cycles. Iâm decolonizing my brain to think in terms of natural seasons as opposed to fiscal quarters, and it feels great. Take that, capitalism!
Reminder: Iâm creating a course called Advancing Your Design Career
đ Register your interest đ to get an email when enrollment opens later this Fall.
Youâll learn:
How to eliminate micromanaging and gain autonomy.
How leaders track & measure your performance.
How to become known as a top performer.
How to optimize your chances for promotions and pay increases.
How to do this mindfully, without burning out.
The techniques that Iâll teach are actually easy to learn and put into practice. And weâll make it silly, fun, and memorable. I promise. Get on the waitlist and youâll receive an email when registration opens.
How to disagree with your boss
Recently, Iâve had a handful of coaching conversations where Iâve said to clients:
Do NOT develop an antagonistic relationship with your boss.
Even if you dislike your boss. Even if theyâre a bad leader.
Maybe thatâs obvious to some of you. But this wasnât obvious to me early in my career.
I would argue with my boss, resent them, and make snarky comments. đŹ I did this because I thought I was âcorrect.â Maybe I even had a superiority complex and/or a general disdain for authority. đŹ đŹ đŹ I mean, the skateboarder in me still has a general disdain for authorityâŚ
Anyway! Itâs pretty embarrassing when I think about it now. Itâs especially embarrassing that I was also wondering why I wasnât getting promoted. đ¤Śđťââď¸ Remember:
Your boss is the one who advocates for your promotions and pay increases.
Another way to think about it:
Your boss has more impact on your career progression than anyone else at your workplace. That means you need to develop a trusted partnership with them.
There are a lot of techniques around how you can form that trusted partnership â even if you dislike them. Even if theyâre green or incompetent. Even if theyâre just too busy to invest in you. One trick is to learn how to disagree in a healthy way.
Hereâs a script for disagreeing with your boss
Hereâs how to respectfully disagree, without damaging your reputation with your boss:
Your boss: Hereâs my point of view, [says something you disagree with].
You: I see. Let me make sure I understand what youâre saying. [restate what theyâve said]. Do I have that right?
(This shows them that youâre listening. It also gives them a chance to clarify if youâve misunderstood them.)
Your boss: Yes, thatâs right.
You: Oh, ok. Thatâs really interesting! I think about it a little bit differently, the way I think about it is [state your point of view].
You are in essence disagreeing with them. But youâre being kind and respectful. And in the process, youâre ensuring that they feel heard as well. Youâre not being antagonistic. No snark, no sarcasm.
When you present a different opinion the right way, your boss is more likely to hear you. If youâre being aggressive or antagonistic â remember theyâre human too â they wonât be as receptive.
đĄ What do you think of this tip? If you try it, let me know how it goes!
BTS: Creating the Course
Aligning my course with my capacity
Iâm a single parent to a young kiddo. We inevitably go through rounds sickness during the school year, which makes my schedule unpredictable.
Initially as I built my course, I planned to deliver each lesson live. But I realized, that approach just isnât aligned with my capacity, and the shape of my life at this stage.
So Iâve adapted my approach. My plan is to pre-record lessons, and then host a handful of Live Q&A sessions with students.
I think this will work better for many folks who already have Zoom / meeting fatigue. Iâve heard from folks that they like to learn asynchronously, and in smaller, bite-sized chunks. So Iâm adapting the course structure based on that feedback.
Aligning my course with my values
Iâve also been reflecting on the various corporate trainings that Iâve been to over the years. Sometimes the content is helpful, sometimes itâs not. But pretty consistently, the format itself is SO BORING that I can barely stay awake. Either that or the vibe is just⌠off?? Like, very 90âs Dilbert vibes? Super corporate.
Iâve spent time thinking about the values and vibes I do and donât want to cultivate with this course:
No, thanks:
Orientation: White supremacist capitalist patriarchy
Beliefs: Hustle culture, scarcity mindset
Vibe: Stale / boring AF
Yes, please:
Orientation: Radical feminist anti-capitalist, acknowledges power imbalances and systems of oppression
Beliefs: Work/life balance, abundance mindset
Vibe: Cottage core / cozy gaming
Like, what if you could attend an incredibly valuable career course, but this was the vibe:
Thatâs the goal. Look at how frigginâ cute Henry is, chilling on that bench! đĽš
Ok, later skaters! âď¸
Sally